LETTER CLXXXV.189.
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ToCaptainFitzgerald,Rose-hill,Berkshire.
Bellfield,Sept.20.
AllIfearedhascertainlyhappened;Emilyhasundoubtedlyheardofthisproposal,and,fromaparadeofgenerosity,agenerosityhoweverinconsistentwithlove,wishestopostponeourmarriagetillmyrelationarrives.
Iamhurtbeyondwords,atthemannerinwhichshehaswrotetomeonthissubject;Ihave,inregardtoSirGeorge,experiencedthatthesearenotthesentimentsofahearttrulyenamored.
IthereforefearthisromanticstepistheeffectofacoldnessofwhichIthoughtherincapable;andthatheraffectionisonlyamorelivelydegreeoffriendship,withwhich,Iwillowntoyou,myheartwillnotbesatisfied.
Iwouldengross,Iwouldemploy,Iwouldabsorb,everyfacultyofthatlovelymind.
Ihavetoolongsufferedprudencetodelaymyhappiness:Icannotlongerlivewithouther:ifshelovesme,IshallonTuesdaycallhermine.
Adieu!Ishallbewithyoualmostassoonasthisletter.
Youraffectionate
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